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October 28 2017






aesthetically I love like coffeehouses and coffee but I hate actually drinking coffee


thanks for agreeing

you fucking buffoon

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the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.

Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.

Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.

((Here m8 ))

Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?

There👏🏼 are👏🏼 different👏🏼 types👏🏼 of👏🏼 sharks👏🏼

and 👏 they’re 👏 all 👏 smooth👏

from one way, they are; the other way, not so much

You’re half right. From one way they are smooth, but from the other way they’re also smooth.

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oh. my god. what a HERO

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stimmy business

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10 years

But it’s 2016

but it wont be in the future 

It is time








  • break up your paragraphs. big paragraphs are scary, your readers will get scared
  • fuuuuck epithets. “the other man got up” “the taller woman sat down” “the blonde walked away” nahhh. call them by their names or rework the sentence. you can do so much better than this (exception: if the reader doesn’t know the character(s) you’re referring to yet, it’s a-okay to refer to them by an identifying trait)
  • blunette is not a thing
  • new speaker, new paragraph. please.
  • “said” is such a great word. use it. make sweet love to it. but don’t kill it
  • use “said” more than you use synonyms for it. that way the use of synonyms gets more exciting. getting a sudden description of how a character is saying something (screaming, mumbling, sighing) is more interesting that way.
  • if your summary says “I suck at summaries” or “story better than summary” you’re turning off the reader, my dude. your summary is supposed to be your hook. you gotta own it, just like you’re gonna own the story they’re about to read
  • follow long sentences w short ones and short ones w long ones. same goes for paragraphs
  • your writing is always better than you think it is. you just think it’s bad because the story’s always gonna be predicable to the one who’s writing it
  • i love u guys keep on trucking


im gonna use blunette in my next fic. 

please no it physically hurts me

Use blunette for Taako’s hair I might ascend


YOUR generation


YOUR generation was the generation where two teachers could afford to buy a 4-bedroom house in San Diego, CA and then afford the mortgage and raise 2 kids in private school (my parents did this).

YOUR generation was the generation where one parent could work in Financial Aid at the local college and the other could raise 2 kids in a 3 bedroom house (my now-retired coworker did this).

YOUR generation was the generation where you could wash dishes to put yourself through college and law school (my uncle did this).

MY generation can’t buy a home when the average cost is $440k and a combined income of two teachers is only $70k, and they have to pay 35% income to rent, let alone trying to afford children.

MY generation has both parents working, one or both working 2 jobs just to buy food, not even able to afford a family vacation every December.

MY generation is in student debt on average $29,400.  And we have scholarships but they only cover 40% of the cost and when law school costs $120k for 2 years, you do the math.

So don’t tell me that it’s MY GENERATION that fucking things up.  We’re only 25, we didn’t get in to the war in 2001 (we were 11 years old), we didn’t de-fund mental health institutions in 1975, we didn’t decide that grants and scholarships should be funded less and tuition should cost more, we didn’t raise the housing market 7000% (my childhood home was bought for $95k and sold for $750k 20 years later).  MY GENERATION didn’t do any of that, YOUR generation did.

So don’t tell me I “just” need to “get a better job” or that I “only” have to send my kids to “a good school.”  Because it doesn’t work like that anymore.  And don’t blame me.






autistic lesbians are angels on earth i don’t make the rules sorry

autistic lesbians
are angels on earth i don’t
make the rules sorry

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!


rude messages on anon mean absolutely nothing. you’re hiding yourself because deep down you know it’s wrong and you’re ashamed of what you’re saying. hostile words mean nothing when you cover yourself. they carry no weight.

October 27 2017





sorry for all the haiku bot posts i reblog i just love haikus

sorry for all the
haiku bot posts i reblog
i just love haikus

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!




had a dream once that Nickelodeon did a big crossover of all their cartoons and the main villain was Zim trying to conquer all the earths and when he got to the Fairly Oddparents they tried to wish him away but it didnt work so they checked Da Rules and Zim had scribbled in there (with permanent marker!) “Zim can do what he wants” so they couldn’t do anything

the only other part i remember is Dib was explaining the situation to the other characters and the fact that people like Jimmy Neutron and X-J9 and Timmy Turner automatically just accepted that Zim was an alien made him so happy he broke down crying

This is all 100% in character and already better than anything I can imagine the Zim movie being about





The hilarious thing about watching people talk about their experiences with pokemon go is that I just keep remembering all the edgy ‘realistic’ pokemon reinterpretations that used to go around, and how ‘no the pokemon world would be SO DARK you guys’.

And now there are people going around IRL catching pokemon and they’re just like ‘I WENT OUT AND MADE TWENTY NEW FRIENDS AND FOUND AN EEVEE AND EEVEE IS ALSO MY FRIEND!!!’

So it seems the pokemon setting actually was pretty damn accurate.

I was just at a park by a lake with crowds of people as thick as if there was a fair, all playing Pokemon Go. People rode by on bikes, trying to hatch eggs (one was playing the bicycle theme song on a speaker). The only thing people talked about was Pokemon.

It looked and sounded exactly like I was actually walking down a Route in a Pokemon game. The whole thing was completely surreal.

Pokémon Go, the summer of 2016, was the last pure moment in the world & I miss it



scientist (studying an atom): hey thats jade harleys symbol, from homestuck



she wears short skirts i have feelers she’s cheer captain and i am a creature


every short film about a trans man


[scene opens on a mother and an underweight white attractive teenager with a good jawline]

mother: Brenda, You half to wear a dress to The Event that we are going to, which is very important .

teenager: Well ok mother.

[teenager goes upstairs]

[teenager removes their clothes and is wearing a perfectly matched underwear and bra for some reason. teenager looks in their full-length mirror with a wistful look on their face. teenager twists around their body to look at it for a solid minute or so. there is a dress on their bed and they put it on]

teenager: Why does this feel so…. Wrong ?

[breathe me by sia starts playing]

[teenager rips off the dress and runs really loudly to the bathroom and grabs some kindergarten scissors and starts dramatically chopping off their hair in giant jagged hunks. the music swells. the camera cuts and they emerge from the bathroom with a perfectly styled undercut, somehow]

[teenager destroys like 3 cabinets searching for ace bandages very dramatically, goes back to full-length mirror, wraps ace bandages around chest, heaves a trembling sigh of relief. teenager puts on a flannel and jeans because those are the only clothes the Trans Council allows us to wear. the music slowly trails out]

[teenager walks confidently downstairs]


teenager: No…. Mother…. I am a boy…. I have been my whole life…. I have been trapped in a womanse body…. And my name….. is………. Brendan.

mother: [slaps teenager across the face]

teenager: AUGH 

mother: Fuck I’m sorry the budget for the production of this film is running out so we have to draw the emotional arc to a close here. I am sorry my child and I will try my best to accept you for who you are

teenager: I understand and forgive you

[they embrace]

[fade to black]

[breathe me by sia plays again]



quick, reblog this before it’s illegal in 2020



*watches a studio ghibli film* maybe… life is okay




that clip from that old hunie pop game or whatever where that pink fairy chick gets asked what her favorite color is and shes like “are you kidding me its fucking pink, bitch” is me


Just Don’t



I’m sure there’s already probably a post out there about this but here’s a list of things not to say to someone with a chronic illness:

1. “But you don’t look sick.” - I read this article about a girl who’s really sick with a lot of different chronic illnesses, and she said that if she had a dollar for every time she’s been told this she could afford the various surgeries she needs to survive. I’ve said it before, it’s a blessing and a curse to not look as horrible as we feel. On good days, I like to pretend that I’m normal and I can blend in. On the bad days, I hear this a thousand times. Do you think that by telling me this I magically feel better? Because that’s not how this works. Y’all are lucky I don’t look how I feel because you’d run screaming. The reason this offends us is because it comes off like you’re not believing us. Please don’t do it.

2. “You’re too young to have that.” - Thank you. I’ll just tell that to my body. Did it fix me? No? Shocking. Again, this is offensive because it seems like you’re not believing us. Please don’t do it.

3. “At least it’s not cancer.” - Omgggggg. This one pisses me off like no other. There’s a post about this I’ve seen on here and the best line is something like “Who told you it was okay to rank suffering?” <——- READ IT AGAIN. That is never okay. You come off as so ignorant when this comment is made. Just because you actually know something about cancer doesn’t mean you know anything about how it would compare to my illness and it’s so ignorant to even try to compare them!!!! Did you know that the most commonly used drugs to treat autoimmune diseases are chemo drugs? And we stay on those for LIFE. Also, what’s one of the most feared things for a cancer survivor? A relapse. This is like waking up to a relapse every day of our lives. This is offensive because it’s ignorant. You know nothing about my illnesses and yet you’re going to try to compare it to something else and the fact that you’re trying to compare two different types of suffering when you know nothing about the one is just wrong. It’s just wrong to even try to say one person is suffering more than another. Don’t do it. —–> this section also includes the “this person I know had cancer and is living an inspiring adventurous life” people. Just stop. Honestly. Do you think I’m just sitting here bitching and not trying my hardest to survive? Do you think I enjoy this? Do you seriously think that if I had any way to live like that that I would still be sitting here? Omg. Please don’t do it.

4. “My aunt’s sister’s cousin’s dog’s brother’s friend has that and she’s fine.” - I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard this shit. Okay the dog part is exaggerated but not much! Like please, tell me how this person you’ve maybe seen twice in your life and maybe even talked to once is just doing fine. Did you ask them about their illness? Did you ask them how long it took for them to get diagnosed and what life was like during that time? Did you ask how many medications they’re on to keep them going in a semi-normal life? Did you ask them how they’re actually feeling underneath that smile? Did you ask them if they’re going to cry when they get home from being in so much pain from spending a day pretending to be normal? You didn’t? Didn’t think so. Again, ignorant. Please don’t do it.

5. “You just need to be more positive.” - Seriously? Please, tell me more. Explain to my joints that since I’m thinking happy thoughts they shouldn’t be aching any more. Explain to my lungs that I should be able to breathe now. You know, I know that being positive is something I need to work on and that it can help me with my overall happiness on good days. But this is offensive because you imply that I’m not trying hard enough and that this is a simple illness that can vanish if I put in enough effort. Like I’m not doing everything I possibly can. Like I’m just being lazy. Being positive is not going to change the nights I spend alone in too much pain to sleep. Ignorant. Please don’t do it.

6. “Are you sure it’s not all in your head?” - Man…this is the worst. Like there is no way that this comment could be helpful. You are indicating that you don’t believe the person speaking and that you aren’t listening to anything they’re telling you. If somebody is telling you about their illnesses they’re telling you about real shit. Shut up and listen. Plus, this also bothers me because it’s derogatory towards anyone with mental illnesses. So what if it was in my head? Does that make it any less real? If you care about somebody does it matter where their pain is coming from? More ignorance. Please don’t do it.

I think that most people just don’t really grasp the reality of the situation and the fact that you can get sick and never get better. I think most people honestly think they’re helping in some way but these things make us feel even more isolated and make us want to reach out to people even less. Saying these things shows us that you know nothing about our lives and that you aren’t listening to what we’re saying. Because in all honesty, none of these things have anything to do with our own individual situations. So if you really care about the person who’s opening up to you about their illness, listen to what they say about what their life is really like. You can ask questions we love it when someone shows a genuine interest but don’t say ignorant things. If you don’t know what someone is going through, then don’t pretend like you do. Don’t compare one case to another, don’t compare one disease to another, don’t judge us by our appearance or our age, don’t make assumptions about our mental health or our mindset. There are so many stigmas against us anyways so if somebody you care about is trying to inform you please listen. Thank you.

Ugh, number 2 is why I NEVER tell anyone I have arthritis; it’s just not worth it. Also:

7. *Scoffing sound* “Just wait till you’re my age”

Dude, I’ve been dealing with this for 20 years to your 10 already.



Things I have learned by joining the local Methodist Church’s coffee & knitting circle (where I am the only person under 60 years old):

  • How to double knit very, very quickly
  • Mrs. Jonson on the third pew won’t mind her own business, bless her heart. And she buys her pies pre-made for all the church functions.
  • Ways that women cheated the system in 1950s Texas to get into college and start careers. Including a memorable “He told me I wouldn’t last a week, but then 6 years later, I had to let him go because his production was way down.” *drinks sip of coffee*
  • We Might Be Conservative But Gosh Darn That Trump Bless His Heart He Doesn’t Know Anything About God Or Texas
  • And On That Note, God And Texas Are The Only Good Things Left In The World. Erin Write That Down.
  • How to rescue a dropped stitch and make it look like it never happened
  • Public schools and inclusive, desegregated education will single-handedly save the world
  • Sharing recipes is a sacred bonding and community-building tradition that rivals the greatest political negotiations and land deals in history
  • “It’s better that you prefer girls honey, the Boyfriend Curse doesn’t apply to your girlfriend and a lovin’ god’ll keep on a-lovin. You better make that girl a sweater.’” 
  • (Boyfriend Curse = knit a sweater for a boy and he’ll leave you when you finish it)
  • Mrs. Barbara’s husband cheated in ‘76, resulting in a divorce. She thought it was the end of the world because her youth had already passed, but now she’s an engineer and married to a kind, good man who she met when she went back to college in ‘79.
  • “The only things you can trust in are God, your good sense, and the wisdom of those older women you grew up admiring. The rest is crap.”
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